I woke up this morning and honestly all sense of time and day has now left me. We went to bed at 17.30 yesterday… how decadent! We watched Greys anatomy in bed for 5 hours. I took my mimosa with me, it is Christmas after all.

For days now I’ve been surviving on pie, cheese, coffee and mimosa’s! To the extent that I’ve just poured the last of my Christmas blend coffee beans into the machine (I only bought them last Thursday) & I’m out of fresh orange. I’m now drinking left over ginger beer … no rum or gin in it…or is their?

This is the first year I’ve not worked between Christmas and New year. I’m not sure if this is a curse or a blessing. I mentioned to the Mister Carr that I thought my bottom had possibly, maybe grown a smidge this week. This was confirmed with no hesitation whatsoever. This has forced me to increase the rum in my ginger beer…. did I say increase? I meant add. Me and my huge fat arse need the alcohol to numb the pain, and maybe some more cheese and biscuits. The Mister Carr has turned to Becks and Xbox whilst singing his very own rendition of baby got back…..

I have become institutionalised in my own home. Like some adult version of lord of the flies. I will be a cheese eating rum drinking savage soon. Daughter no 2 has been discovered in her room crouched over a box of celebrations her face full of chocolate denying she had eaten them all… not sharing her stash… I made her take the empty wrappers out and leave the box under the tree.. Mummy will watch your precious…

Tomorrow I have to do the second big shop in as many weeks and I’m going to have to converse with real humans!! I’ve made a list and it mostly comprises of (would you believe it) alcohol and party food… Their is no helping me now…