As I lay in bed this morning I’m trying to formulate my thoughts on this New Year’s Eve. Aside from planning my day of cleaning, cooking and generally stressing that everyone is going to come to our NYE’s bash and will enjoy themselves, drink and eat the god damn party food!
I’m looking back over the year and looking to 2018 and what I want from the year to come.
2017 saw me turn 41. Nothing interesting or special about that. I’m now officially cemented in to my middle age. Wtf! I mean I still feel at least 35….. Do you remember when you were 18 and you couldn’t imagine ever not wanting to hit the tiles, get shit faced every weekend? I can’t think of anything worse. I don’t know if that’s just me and my grumpy self or if it’s an age thing? I kinda hope it’s my age and not me turning into a female Victor Meldrew. I mean, I don’t mind a wine or 3 on a summers evening in a beer garden but I don’t wanna go clubbing when it’s cold and pissing it down. Bollox to that!!!
I did some fun things this year! Travelled to amazing places. Had brilliant times spent with family and friends and made some awesome plans for 2018. I made it to 20 years of being with Mister Carr without causing him serious injury (he may argue staying with him is serious injury enough). We celebrated daughter no 1’s 21st Birthday (how the hell did that happen, genuinely how did we raise a fully functioning grown up?). Gives my hope for daughter no 2. Daughter no 2 made it to secondary school (Yey, we are half way there to having another adult who can make me cocktails).
We said goodbye to our Yaya (Mister Carr’s Nan) which was heartbreaking. More so watching those you love in pain and not being able to make it better. We saw the 1st anniversary of Papa’s passing which was hard and opened the gates of grief again. Family evolved and our parents decided to part ways. Even as an adult this can be shocking. Your yard stick of what you aspire to have and be dissolves in front of you. But being happy is really the biggest aspiration and that’s all we want for our loved ones. So that’s 4 new singletons out there guys!
I normally spend New Year’s Eve fretting about getting the house clean. Something instilled in me from being a child. Maybe it’s a Scottish thing? I’m half after all.. I’m not the best at cleaning, life’s too short tbh. I’ve better things to do. I don’t really mind my house as it is if I’m honest. It’s lived in, it’s mine and I’m providing enough spirits that hopefully everyone will be that steaming they won’t notice my dusty skirting boards! Also if I was a clean freak Mister Carr would never have just found my diamond earring which has been missing for 5 months (a good omen if ever there was).
I keep seeing New year, New you. My problem is I don’t actually mind this years me.. I don’t want to be a new me. Ok, maybe my body’s a little softer and I have more lines on my face. Maybe my butts not as tight and boobs not as perky but I’m a year wiser and I’m happy and I’m loved. That’s all that really matters to me. Don’t get me wrong I do have goals for next year but that’s for tomorrow’s post when I’m hungover and full of post party conviction and alcohol regret!