Soooooo tired! First day back at work and it’s the first bloody day in the ten days I’ve had off work that my internal body clock has refused to wake me up… In fact it did the complete opposite. It said fuck you and snuggled back under the covers refusing to leave the safety of the Christmas themed bedding… I know it needs to be changed, do I care though?

I nearly had a complete meltdown when I realised half asleep I had to get the car out from it’s now parallel parked position. In my defence I’m really shit at doing this and everyone knows! Ten minutes earlier it was the only car parked on our road. If I’d got up when I should have I could have been on my way… But nooooo…. 3 attempts with daughter No 2’s incessant chatter/ moaning in my ears, a phone call to Mister Carr to bitch and moan (because that’s what he needs on his drive to Brighton having left the house in the middle of the night). A text to my boss to explain how my shit driving was going to make me late on my first day back and more than a few colourful words and I calmed down, gave it another go and was off!

Having made it to work I realised I’d left my bastard pass at home.. must remember to look for it tonight. I spent all day stalking people a little too closely to get through the doors in the building.

We have a new addition to our office. This could have been a good thing… but noooooo! We acquired a new water machine. It’s situated 4 ft away from my very delicate self. What is wrong with this you say. Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. It’s a bad word! A very bad word! Every time it’s used (which is constantly) it makes a drippy, whiring, pouring water noise which once noticed cannot be unnoticed or ignored and it doesn’t stop… Ever…It’s driving me insane! The only good thing is now that I’ve told my team about how much it’s annoying me it’s now annoying them too (clapping my hands gleefully). Why should I suffer alone! It also makes you need to pee all the time. Bastard water machine, I don’t even like water!

Anyway it’s not all been bad! Three good things happened today!

One, I replaced my works coffee cup with something called the Mighty Mug! I have Mister Carr to thank for that as he took mine for a trip to Brighton today. I don’t want it back…..Ever!

Two, as I was leaving work Mum called and asked if she could keep daughter No 2 for the night. That means I can be in bed by 8pm and don’t have to have any irrelevant arguments because she’s hormonal and will argue with a stone at the moment! I’m loving life!

Three, because I’m home alone and couldn’t care less I just cooked the last of the party food and ate the lot! Well, not the satay chicken thing’s, they were rank! For the record it’s still Christmas, my tree is still up so it’s ok to have dim sum and mini pizzas for tea! Also using paper plates is still acceptable!

All in all not the worst first day back at work I guess. Hope yours wasn’t too painful!!