When you smell shit..

Do not read whilst eating your dinner!

So the morning started like most others. Alarm goes off.. snoooze 1, snoooze 2, sit’s bolt upright in bed… Listens to alarm blasting out Good Morning from singing in the rain (of course).

Daughter no 1 went back to school today and she was completely ready before I’d even stumbled downstairs to make a brew. For a moment I thought someone had swapped my child but when she couldn’t find the shoes that were in front of her, boom she was back!

I had a bin day win. That half empty bin I discovered yesterday came in very useful today… You know what I’m saying!

Yesterday my mum left her purse at my house. Being the good daughter I am I said I’d drop it in on the way to work. I parked on the narrowest street ever and ran in with it. Still glowing in my good deed I jumped back in the car and off I went. Nothing unusual about that. Well that’s what I thought! After a few minutes driving there was a distinct odour…a really bad one… and no I hadn’t farted or shit myself although I did mentally check! Since I had to put air in the tyres I knew I just had to block my nose and make it to the petrol station to investigate.

So there I was, stood in the pissing down rain at the petrol station, boots covered in gritty runny dog shit (the orange sort), footwell, pedals and even the inside of the door all covered! For fucks sake. I just about managed to clean everything (I’ve never been so happy to have kitchen roll in the car) and I only got a bit on my hand… Bleurghhhhh. I’ll be totally honest my bin day win was looking less like a win at this point. Not so smug now eh….

By now I’m piss wet through and smell like shit. Literally, like shit! I’m trying to get the stupid air cap thingy off. ‘Trying’ because apparently Mister Carr feels the need to fasten the stupid cap thing on with completely unnecessary force. I’m actually crouched in a fucking puddle shouting random obscenity’s that involve both dogs and my husband, wrestling with the air thingy… I hate life!

I’ll be honest this was not the the best start to my day! However I have found some positives to take from today:

1- To get over this mornings trauma I may have had pizza with prosecco for dinner.

2- My lovely fresh coffee bean blends arrived.

3- I took the decorations off the tree. The tree is still there but it doesn’t look Christmassy anymore. It just looks weird.

4- I didn’t bite my nails once today….

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