Oh FFS Someone ate a full packet of kettle chips!! Gone in 60 seconds, well more like 1/2 hour. They didn’t even open the dip or the olives and eat them like a civilised person. Nooo they ate them without even noticing. The hand in bag to mouth with absolutely no thought.
In case you’re wondering it was me. You weren’t wondering were you? It was only when Mister Carr asked if I wanted to order food that I realised I wasn’t hungry. Of course I’m not hungry I’ve just rammed a sharing bag of salt n vinegar kettle chips in my face. I was too busy with the new Facebook page. I needed the sustenance to see me through. I also needed the gin because fuck me that was traumatic! I need more gin just thinking about it. So now I can stress out that that no one will like my page which will require even more gin. I’ll take pity likes I’m not proud!
Anyways, it’s Friday in case you’d not noticed? For me that means sofa time with a glass of something alcoholic and an empty bag of crisps! Mister Carr’s watching the football, which good wife that I am I recorded and I’m pretending to me interested. That’s what you do when you’re married! Daughter no 2 is hiding in her room with her hormones and her ipad (I have her new lap top as my need was greater…it’s a week old and I’m already using it.. I may need a laptop).
The cat, who you have yet to be introduced to did a shit in his cat tray earlier and it stunk. Why are you telling me this you ask. Well I’ll tell you! Following his stinky present he proceeded to then strut to the door so he could go outside… What the actual fuck! I’ve been trying to get him using a cat tray as he’s 17 and losing the plot.. by losing the plot I mean shitting in my bedroom and pissing on my er I mean daughter no 2’s teddy bear. Monkey lion will never be the same again, poor bastard! (That’s the teddy not the cat). Anyway I’ve been trying to get him to use it through the day when I’m not home but apparently he now likes to wait for me to get home to share his offerings! Well I guess I should count my blessings at least he didn’t shit in my shoe.
On my that note I’m off to top up my gin and and not order any take out. I’d be screwed if I were doing dry January!
Cheers guys, thanks for reading my nonsense! Xxx