So I’m sat watching say yes to the dress… again. I’m wondering is it just me who sits watching this programme adictivly? I’m not getting married again, well at least not that I’m aware of. I really don’t have any need to watch the show. I just can’t help myself.. I love it!!! I have more opinions than the brides massive entourage’s!
It could be the pretty dresses… So very pretty… It could be the romance of it all. Or it could be watching the friends and family be so rude!! Jesus there are some nasty bastards! What is it with everyone having an opinion. Shouldn’t it just be about what the bride wants? Not what everyone thinks she should have. I swear I would punch someone. I mean I don’t care that you’re paying for the dress I’m wearing it so fuck off already….
No one had any opinion on my wedding. We planned and paid for it in three months. We buggered off to the Dominican with just daughter no1. None of our family were present and we made friends with our witnesses on the coach over to the resort. We bonded over a cig waiting for our transport. God I loved a cig back then.
Could it be that I’m still lusting after the experience I never got to have? I never did the dress shopping. Not unless you class going to Debenhams and getting the only dress that fit me in my price range off the rack. Classy eh? It gets better… It had a mark on it so I got money knocked off it #livingthedream. I’ll be honest trying a wedding dress on in the department stores crappy changing rooms is as far from the dream I’d had as it could get. I’d imagined being stood on that pedestal in a bridal boutique ooohing and ahhing over the shit load of dresses I’d try on. Having a cry and wafting my hands at the emotion of it all. Alas it was not to be.
Unfortunately we were getting married with short notice and I couldn’t get an appointment anywhere. I needed a minimum of 6 months at all the bridal shops! I remember being gutted when we went to one of the shops only to be advised we couldn’t even go in as we hadn’t an appointment. I felt like Julia Roberts in pretty women when no one would serve her but without me being a prostitute or having the big fuck you moment… Big mistake..Big.. Huge! The only shop that did let us in and let me look on their rails was even worse. Here’s what you could have had….Grrrrr! My experience was less about the magic and more about the practical. No say yes to the dress, no tears or let’s jack her up for me. Everyone tells me my dress was perfect for our Dominican wedding. It’s now sat in a bag on the top of my wardrobe. I’m not sure why it’s still there but I’m still not ready to get shut of it 13 Years on. I guess that just because it may not have been ‘the one’ it was still the one that launched me on the journey that is my marriage.
I often think about that scene on friends where they all sit in the apartment with wedding dresses on. One day Mister Carr will come from work and see me washing up with a big fuck off wedding dress on. No shits given! Daughter No1 has offered to let me go dress shopping and pretend I’m getting married just so I get the experience. I think that’s because she’s scared I’ll start trying dresses on when eventually we go shopping for her big day. For the record no big day is on any horizon as yet!
So I may have missed all the supposed key moments leading up to my wedding. I never even had a romantic proposal as I did the proposing. Me getting down on one knee in the local bowling alley really doesn’t cut it! Although it’s a story to tell of sorts. I often wonder how Mister Carr would have proposed to me? In my mind it involves a flash mob and songs from the musicals… Yep, that’s exactly what would have happened in Sarah’s world!
There was no shiny ring to show off unless you counted a trip to the jewellery store the day of our engagement party to find the cheapest ring they had (we were so broke). This was remedied a few years ago when Mister Carr let me choose a proper engagement ring! It’s sparkly and fulfils the brief!
We didn’t even have a romantic wedding night (we shared a room with No1). So I never had the perfect dress or the experience of finding it with my friends and family, all crying because I looked so beautiful (they definitely would have cried).
However, I got to do the only thing that really matters. I got to marry the man I loved with our daughter by my side.
To have and to hold. From this day forward,
Forsaking all others…
For better, for worse, (we’ve had lots of both)
For richer or poorer, (we’ve had even more of the poorer)
In sickness and in health (I’m not good with that one, I have no tolerance for sickness I would never have been a nurse!)
To love and to cherish (no problemo),
Till death us do part (I’m gonna haunt him if I go first, guaranteed).
I think what I’m trying to say is that all this, the dress, venue, ring, proposal is just the trimmings. The icing on the cake so to speak.
So although I’m going to carry on watching say yes to the dress. Instead of lusting after the perfect dress, perfect proposal or perfect wedding day I’m going to remember that the dress is just the beginning. The ‘Once upon a time’. It’s the story you create after thats really important and you make your own the ‘Happily ever after’. Its not about the dress it’s the hard work and the love you put in to your marriage. I’d sacrifice the perfect dress for that every time!